Minho, 41
Busan · Love
Question
We've Been in the 'Some' Stage for Three Months. Is It Time to Define It?
I'm 41 and living in Busan. I've been seeing someone for three months and we're in the 'some' stage (썸) - not quite dating, but more than friends. I'm wondering if it's time to have the defining conversation.
Destin Answer
Answer
Three months is a reasonable time to want clarity. If you feel the connection is strong and you're ready for more, initiating a conversation about where you stand is healthy. Choose a relaxed setting and express your feelings without pressure. If they're not ready, that's valuable information too—it helps you decide your next steps.
What happened next
- 1Reflect on what you truly want from this relationship before talking.
- 2Find a comfortable, private moment to say, 'I've really enjoyed our time together. How do you feel about where this is going?'
- 3Be ready to listen and accept whatever answer comes, then take time to process it.